Relations between children and their parents
There are different levels of respect for the elderly, and
more specifically for parents depending on the culture. In the US, the way a
child treats their parents can alter drastically from one subculture to the
next. My focus will be on learning about the differences of parent and child
relations of several families in Arcata and possibly Eureka.
I have been fascinated by the differences in the
relationships between children and their parents. Going to friends’ houses when
I was young, I was astonished at how differently my friends treated their parents
and how their parents treated them. While some of my friends couldn’t talk back
to their parents without getting a bar of soap in their mouths or a timeout,
others flat out scream at their parents with no consequences. Some Moms coddled
their kids, being at their beck and call well into their senior year of high
school. Others put the heavy responsibility on their kids of taking care of
themselves at a young age. I am interested in learning about the current relationships
between parent and child of the families I interview, but also about the
history of the relationships.I’ve learned through the relationship I have with my parents that things can change drastically over time, which leads to the next area I want to study. How have parental relations with their children changed over time? Strengthened? Weakened? Did the children get along better with their parents at a younger or older age? What changed to alter the perspective and attitude of the children and/or the parents?
Teenage rebellion is common and almost justified in our culture, as shown through the media in movies and TV shows. Most parents see it as just another stage every child goes through. I know my mom did and she says to this day that she knows I didn’t mean any of what I said; it’s just something teenagers “go” through. I plan to interview at least three families with children to see if they all experienced this, if they expected it, and how each situation differs from one another.
Finally, I am interested in how the relationship between the parents’ and their parents affects how they treat their own children. When the kids have their own children when they grow up, the clearest example they have on how to treat them comes from their parents. I want to see if there are generational patterns affecting the actions of the parents.
I think that you have chosen a very interesting topic to study. I remember wondering why my friends were given different consequences than I was and I have always wondered whether peoples' parental strategies are based on what they thought were fair or unfair punishments while growing up. My theory is that everyone ends up like their parent(s) or guardian(s) one way or another, but that they are capable of changing their strategies to fit their version of an ideal parent. I would be very interested to find out if parenting technique varies with different culture, sexual orientation, age, marital status etc. Maybe you could include this in your background research. Good luck with your topic, it's a great one!
ReplyDeleteI am also interested in this topic and have thought about it before. Coming from a divorced family, I've always taken interst to my friends' relaitonsip between them and their parents. My parents were 19 when they had me. My dad got his GED out of jail my mom got her highschool diploma though adult continuation school. In no way or form were they ready to have a kid, let alone, have a kid with eachother. I stayed with my mom when my parents seperated because my dad was abusive and had a drug problem.
ReplyDeleteShe had a hard time raising me alone, so my grandma took a huge role in my childhood. Both my mom and dad remarried. I would visit my dad every now and then, but everything always seemed so foreign to me there. My dad was still abusive, and although I was too young to understand what went on between my parents when they were together, I did get to see how my dad treated my stepmom. I have a step brother, a half brother, and a half sister between my dad and stepmom.
My dad, after going through rehab and everything, does act differently and more responsibly now, but its interesting to me to see how differently I am comparatively to my siblings who were raised by my dad.
I consider my mom's side of the family to be my actual family, and my dad's side to be more distant even though I still have a good relaionship with him. Between my mom and stepdad, my half brother and I were raised with certain rules and traditions that my dad didn't enforce with my other siblings, and therefore we live completely different lifestyles.
Like you stated, this may have something to do with the parents of parents. Both of my dad's parents were addicts; my grandpa was addicted to alcohol and my grandma other drugs that I don't need to name. They were seperated and between my grandfather's abuse and my grandmother's lack of care, my dad moved out of his house at 16 and began to live around with his friends' families.
Personally, I strive to be different than my parent's pasts and make careful decisions. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact of how I was raised and how I got to experience two ends of the spectrum at once. I'm not sure if anything I've said is helping at all, but what I'm hoping is that it will spark intrest and ideas that will help your idea grow.
There could even be minor things that you include as well, like the difference between families who choose to eat dinner around a table and families who don't. There are some neat things pertaining to psycology that has to do with little things like this that greatly influence family relationships.
I think this is going to be a great topic. I remember going to friends houses over the years and seeing that no one is raised the same. I had a friend, an only child, who’s mother worshipped her. I had another who lived with her grandparents and watched her scream at them, feeling embarrassed for them. My own upbringing was a lot of hiding from my dad and running after my mom. My mom had been an alcoholic until I was eight and I often wonder what may have happened if things had been different. I also have three siblings and we are all pretty close, looking out for each other all through our lives, I wonder where I would be without them.
ReplyDeleteI think I’m closer to my mother now that I am older and more distant to my father whom I was close to when I was very young. I think the study on how our parents were affected by their parents will be most rewarding. My mother’s side of the family has lots of alcoholics and depression is common, her mother died when she was young and her father was an alcoholic and crazy. My father had a very strict father and mother and as a result is very strict with his own children. I look forward to reading more of your blog.
Your concept for your blog is really great. I like how you will be investigating the relations of parent to child because from all the other blogs I have read in our group yours seems like the most in depth of subjects and to go even further to interview the parents of parents is also great because they way a parent raise their children is carried throughout generations because that child will feel that the way they were raised is how they should raise their kids and then the cycle starts for the better or worse. There are many concepts you are covering in your blog as well which might require more extensive research but, it seems that you have already laid out the groudwork for your research so I think you will do good.
ReplyDelete